packing reflections

In a lot of ways I didn’t have the life that I hoped for, or even that I wanted. But still, every second there it was, a second of my precious life on this earth. Living is not like riding a car….it’s more like sailing a boat, or riding a horse…there are other elements that come into play than just your will alone…there is also the weather, and sometimes your skill at sailing. There’s weather that would sink any ship, and weather where you’d have to throw yourself bodily overboard to fail, and then most people it’s something in between.

When there’s ending sometimes I think of the big ending…little deaths that prepare your soul to deal with the big one. A sense of loss, throwing things away, food I didn’t eat, belongings I didn’t have time to donate, waste, loss. But also looking forward, realizing how heavy this apartment has weighed on me this entire year, how my chest tightens when I get close to this neighborhood, how I felt my shoulders come up to my ears coming back from SF.

Such a difficult year, so much exile, so much flight, so much trauma, but yet packing and looking back on my time in Canada, I see times when I was happy, taking my FIT course, going to CL, going to the gym when it was still good, learning how to bgirl, speaking at PyCon, going to HS, my cat, living with Sisi, fun times with T and Y, drinking big drinks at A.

No battle plan survives contact with the enemy, and still you have to make a plan and try to follow it.

nateswinehart:

Being good to each other is so important, guys.

(via isnotsparta)

packing

packing…so stressed because crappy neighbor is back and this means i never know when some asshole will wake me up in the middle of the night and it makes me really stressed and nervous.

Finding all my things, my training manuals, stuff from breakdancing, japanese learning books, making me realize there were lots of happy times also, living with Sisi, living with my kitty, my old apartment and the Japanese people, my old kind neighbor Micheline, my gym, Yohan, Hacker School, going to Bullishcon, going to Vancouver, there were lots of happy times also.

hackerschooljuju:

the scale of beautiful limestone karsts on Flickr.
One of my HS school friends was looking for Thailand recommendations so I was looking through my pictures of TH. When I looked at them, I think to myself, how was I ever unhappy in a place so beautiful?

hackerschooljuju:

the scale of beautiful limestone karsts on Flickr.

One of my HS school friends was looking for Thailand recommendations so I was looking through my pictures of TH. When I looked at them, I think to myself, how was I ever unhappy in a place so beautiful?

hackerschooljuju:

stand on Flickr.
i used to live in a small Thai town by the Mekong river called Nong Khai, pop. 50 000 people. I miss the tropical night, not really like night here, and the love Thai people have a of fairy lights to illuminate it.

hackerschooljuju:

stand on Flickr.

i used to live in a small Thai town by the Mekong river called Nong Khai, pop. 50 000 people. I miss the tropical night, not really like night here, and the love Thai people have a of fairy lights to illuminate it.

Some say we are made of stardust. I say, in memory, we are made of the Fire that made the star dust.

[…]

that your kindliness be unleashed as you are called to help others free themselves from the oppressions of this world ‘gladdened up’ carnival style to make egos think they are free when in fact they are in harness, not to One Greater, but to ‘minds smaller— these defined by each individual as they see fit…’

that your hope for others to be free of bitterness and vengeance — will ever be helped by your memory of true freedom, which makes a flowing balm over burns,

that your soul continue to know that there is no earthly right granted to anyone to itemize you as though you are an asset instead of a radiant soul

that we all remember for ourselves and for others, especially for/to/ and with our young, that soul will never agree to be an obedient automaton, will never agree to not speak for the souls who have migrated to Earth and been immediately captured, defined as ignorant when in fact they are radiant in Light,

[…]

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151660845023635&set=a.391385543634.168955.29996683634&type=1 (via hackerschooljuju)

So every day since I first got this computer I take a picture of my face. Looking back at all of them, it’s actually really fascinating. (at least to me haha)

Mooncakes beginning to be sold in Chinatown

Not the best picture, but the man in the top is Afrika Bambaata, one of the first, most influential hiphop DJs! Dancer at Under Pressure festival!


Murals of women as saints: Maya Angelou, Frieda Kahlo, Anais Nin, … and other beautiful art from Montreal Under Pressure festival

A blog of going to Hacker School and discovering New York City.

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